.:: m0n pEt!t ::.

时间：将近下午三时 地点：偏僻的师训学院 原因：等待上课的时间 距离时间：一个小时 不说你可能不知道 学院中有个又大又绿的操场 从高处往下望 霎是漂亮 午饭后 我无所事事地站在课室外的走廊 望着那块青绿色的操场 不停地询问自己究竟想要怎样 登高望远 理想也从高处出发 但是高处不胜寒 梦想太高 似乎难以抵达 这几天 超级烦 无可否认这与学院的风水有关 每每在这里受训 心情总是无法感到舒畅 换个角度 这里或许是我在忙碌后唯一能真正静下来思考的地方吧 间接性或直接性 脑海里总是有很多很多的想法 理性再次占据我的大脑 毫无间断地一直思考着相同的问题 学院中 很是崇拜张国平讲师 除了能够想象他年轻时的俊俏容貌 也被他脸颊上的迷人酒窝给吸引 他是让我不停思考问题的主要因素 思考着许多相关与不相关的问题 想起了年前面试时的状况 似乎开始能够理解为什么当时的讲师会那么质疑我的想法 对啊 这里是马来西亚 二十三年来我成长的地方 但是可悲啊 活了那么久 才发现自己生活的原则原来这么地不适于马来西亚 心中又结了许多新锁 等着我一一解开 解开之日又会是何时 无人知晓 现在 我是多么地盼望11月23日从来没来到 而我还置身在金宝 喝着那被奶白色的白果腐竹薏米 吃着那碗配有猪皮的云吞面 忘却这里所有的烦恼

果然……我还是选用了母语 我最熟悉的语文 也只有通过这个语文 才能将接下来想要说的话 准确无误地表达出来 不管当事人会不会看到这篇文章 此时此刻 我只想给自己一个满意的交待与答案 这个句点必须由我亲手画上 思考了近二十四个小时 我想这是上帝给我的指示 天父回应了我的祷告 “从哪里开始，就往哪里结束” 或许只有这样 我才能重新迎接下一个真正属于自己的幸福 我常幻想 如果有一天再次与你相遇 场面会是怎样 理性地打招呼 还是行同陌路 大方地微笑问候 还是挥一挥衣袖 转头就走 当我还在幻想这一天的到来时 其实它已悄悄地来到 事实也证实 我没想象中的洒脱 我依旧想将那段回忆埋藏在心底深处 随着时间的流逝 让它腐烂 连渣都不剩 只变成有用的养分 好让我日后引以为鉴 我不过是个普通人 会伤也会痛 不说并不代表不难过 说了也并不代表自己还在留恋着什么 我用了三四年的时间 让这无情的岁月洗刷着那段日渐模糊的记忆 如今若是询问起我们当初分开的理由 老实说我也不是记得很清楚 然而过程中 我确信我们无法再成为朋友 只因为我始终过不了自己这一关 而那当初可贵的友情 就这样被我俩无知地陪葬在这场爱情游戏中 昨日的相遇 没有眼神上的交目 没有预期中的愤怒 更没有喜悦的感受 感觉虽是复杂 却也很平静 这又再一次让我确信 我们生活的世界不同 理念不同 方向不同 当初及早还给对方自由 这个决定果然没错 无论如何 我依旧感谢你给我上了这么一课 让我利用了三四年的时间让自己不停地反思 最后也得到了结论 “没有了我，你的生活依然多姿多彩； 没有了你，我的生活依然充满色彩” 按照上帝的意思 你在我生命中的故事已经告了一个段落 现在 我只想对另一个他说…… “那晚我没开玩笑 而是认真的 只是你一直都不晓得罢了”

how bad the situation would be if a blogger does not feel like to blog anymore? Hmmm... I wondered it. Well, I do hope that I have not yet reach that far 'cuz blogging is the one and only way to point out the things I wanted to share. As the workload is significantly increasing, however, I do feel that updating the post weekly could be considered as one of the tough jobs to be accomplished. Geez. God knows that I am not finding myself an excuse. life seems to be too hectic to me. Most of the time is fully occupied in working. Since the first day I am started to work, gradually I am losing the time of relaxing, reading, and also gourmand-ing. Working could be that scary actually, you see. anyhow, let us see things in scientifically perspective. Living creatures are adaptable to new circumstances. Otherwise we might be easily eliminated by the environment. And this concept applies on humans being too, particularly I myself. Although I am pretty upset over the fact that I am unable to

just finished the lunch. It is 3.28pm now. Gonna have a tuition class an hour later. Simply want to occupy this half an hour in blogging before I am going to shower for the next half an hour. recently I am too busy in both school tasks and the seemingly never ending assignments. That explains why I have had turn into a lazy blogger whom seldom update her posts all these while. Too busy to do it. Due to this reason, I would like to have a briefly report 'bout the recently-happened matters, so that people out there would not think that I have already vanished into the air. went to search for the THAT'S CAFE which is located in Jalan Dobi . Wondered where else should I go when I want to organize a gathering next time. Went to Summerset Resort which is located in Kuantan couple days ago. Not to forget the Banafee Village. All these are the places I had been recently. Will post in details when I am freaking hell free. But definitely not now. More accurately, not in the November. til